The Month From Hell

So....after I have a kid my digestion gets SUPER MESSED UP. Like going to the bathroom 3-8 times a day, and I am not talking about pee. With that information, I will let you decide how well that jives with running...it does not. I get to the point where I can't make it four miles FOUR MILES without having to go to the bathroom. And I am talking, this is an emergency if I don't go now I will mess myself need to go to the bathroom. And it hits fast and it hits hard. (I will admit, as a grown woman I have crapped my pants several times since having children. So far only after my first kid, but time can only tell. Kid #2 is only 9 months old...)

Anyway, so I saw my nutritionist and she helped me get my gut under control and by the time he was 18 months old, I was pretty good. I could run a marathon and only stop once. I consider that a win.

So, kid #2 comes along and the gut problems took longer to start and weren't as bad. So I figured I'd get ahead of the game and went to see my nutritionist. I had also been having rashes all over my scalp, elbows, hips, and starting on my face. She saw me and we talked about my gut. Didn't even think to mention the rashes. She tested my body and asked how my skin was. I told her about the rashes and she said I was full of yeast. Makes sense, I got put on antibiotics when I got SUPER SICK when I was pregnant and I am REALLY BAD at taking probiotics...antibiotics = no good gut biome = yeast growing unchecked = lots of poor and rashes as my body tries to rid itself of the yeast.

YIKES!

So, she put me on the worst thing IN THE WORLD...a candida cleanse.

It. Sucked.

If I had to choose between doing this for 30 days and being 9 months pregnant in July for 30 days. I would choose pregnant. Because at least I could eat whatever I wanted. Food is my love language and EVERYTHING I love about food was a strict no no for 30 days.

Here is a quick run down of how it worked.

ONE piece of fruit a day. ONE!!!!!!!!

No oranges, tangerines, clementines, tangelos

No wheat.

No gluten.

No leaven.

No vinegar or anything with vinegar in it (no salsa...tears)

No oats. (no granola...more tears)

No dried fruit.

No sugar of any kind (even stevia, honey, syrup, or the fake sugars like xylitol...nada)

No Peanut Butter (AH!!!!!)

No cashews, peanuts, or pistachios

No alcohol (easy)

No to certain cheeses (easy)

No to non-organic meats (easy)

So basically I could eat vegetables, legumes, quinoa, rice, nuts, seeds. Even though tomatoes and avocados are "technically" fruit, they were allowed due to low sugar content.

Those are all good things but after so long.....like a day, I was dying.

But I did it. I had one cheat meal on my birthday. I had a HUGE smoothie bowl with ALL the things, but then I was good for the rest of the day and it was 3 days in so I felt like I hadn't really made a dent in the yeast yet and it was okay.

Then I had some super strong probiotics, enzymes, and water alkalyzer drops that I took with EVERY meal and some enzymes with EVERY snack. They were freak nasty, it was like if someone combined a Necco wafer with poop. But after a few days, my taste buds changed because I could eat those things without gagging, arugula (which tastes like a compost heap) tastes good, I could just eat it. (I hate arugula).

It was a dark time. I was SO GRUMPY ALL THE TIME. I was SO HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. Because I just couldn't get satisfied. I ate the bare minimum because it was okay but everything was bland. It lacked the pizzazz I love about food. I was tired and lethargic and always felt like I was going to pass out when I ran (low blood sugar?). So I do NOT suggest EVER doing this unless you HAVE to. I am pretty sure I lost like 5 lbs or more because I just didn't want to eat. And as a petite person, 5 lbs wasn't something I could afford to loose. And I was nursing. It sucked. It sucked so bad.

But, if for some reason you ever have to go through this, or you are a hard core gluten free vegan, here are the recipes I used to get through.

A few tricks:

-I would cut my fruit in half and have half with breakfast and half later in the day.

-I ate 2 whole Costco sized tubs of almond butter in 30 days.

-I broke down and found a recipe on Pinterest for yeast free NO sugar added (even natural sugars) bread. It was gross. Tasted like saw dust, but I was desperate.

-I documented ALL of this on my insta stories under Yeast Cleanse.

BREAKFAST

**A lot of my breakfasts I just snapped a picture with my insta story and don't have the pictures, but I included what I do have photos of.**

Quinoa with almond butter, walnuts, and half of a cooked apple or pear with cinnamon.

Sweet potato mash with quinoa, almond butter, half an apple, and chia seeds. Sometimes I added coconut cream (I just kept a can of coconut milk in my fridge)

My "Birthday" breakfast in bed.

"Omelettes" made with garbanzo bean flour. I put sauteed arugula, red cabbage, peas, and carrots in mine and topped them with tomatoes and avocado.

French Toast (with world's GROSSEST bread) with almond butter, apples, and cinnamon.

Tofu Scramble with Sweet Potato and Black Bean Hash and avocados.

Protein Pancakes - topped with banana or apples, coconut cream, almond butter

Pumpkin Pancakes - topped with banana or apples, coconut cream, almond butter

Baked White Sweet Potato with Almond Butter and Coconut Cream

Chickpea Frittatas

Almond Butter Toast (on super nasty bread) with half a Banana, Kiwis, or Strawberries

Left Over Sweet Potato Soup with Almond Butter and Coconut Cream

Chia Pudding with almonds, pumpkin seeds, and berries

Bland quinoa with berries, almond butter

LUNCH

**Most of my lunches I just snapped a picture with my insta story and don't have the pictures, but I included what I do have photos of.**

**Half a piece of fruit with each lunch

Rice Cakes with Hummus, Avocado, Tomatoes, and Greens (most lunches)

Avocado Bean Dip with Corn Chips

Quinoa Tabbouleh with hummus and rice crackers

Veggies and hummus with rice cakes or crackers

Smoothie: spinach, 1 banana, almond butter, half an avocado, almond milk, chia seeds, ice.

Cowboy Caviar Salad

Spinach with Black Beans and Avocado

Leftovers

I ate a piece of watermelon and almost died and went to heaven

Tortilla soup, toast, fruit

DINNER

**Some of my dinners I just snapped a picture with my insta story and don't have the pictures, but I included what I do have photos of.**

Chili and tortilla chips

Mediterranean Bowls: quinoa, red cabbage, tofu, pumpkin seeds, olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, beets, broccoli, arugula, tahini sauce (just had to get clever with making it).

Fajitas with no salsa (sad) but lots of guacamole

Leftovers Bowl: red cabbage, arugula, olives, pumpkin seeds, avocado, hummus, and potato wedges.

Chickpea Curry

Sweet Potato Chili over Baked Potatoes with Almond Cheese

Stir Fry Veggies over Rice and Lentils with Almond Butter Sauce (used pureed carrots for sweetness in the sauce)

Stuffed Peppers - made my own sauce that didn't have vinegar or added sugars.

Sweet Potato and Carrot Soup

Noodleless "Pad Thai" with Almond Sauce (from Minimalist Baker)

Roasted Vegetable Salad: Sweet Potatoes, Butternut Squash, Beets, Brussel Sprouts, and Zucchini with Falafel (adapted to work), Quinoa, Hummus, Olives, Tahini Sauce over greens.